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  • Carly Kelly-Fairweather

When special days evoke sadness

Birthdays. What a special, important milestone in a family’s life.


But what happens when these milestones evoke a sense of sadness as well?


What if the memory and trauma of your child’s birth still impacts on you, years after the event has occurred?



Grief is a funny thing. It can sneak up on you like a subtle shadow or it can feel like a rolling sea of sadness you have no control over. Even on days that the world says are happy, even when your heart and mind want you to feel that way, the memories of a traumatic birth can surface when you least expect.


Birth trauma is a very significant and real problem for mothers in Australia. The Australian Birth Trauma Association note that 1 in 3 women identify that their birth was traumatic. One in 3! That high a number means that there must be something we mothers can do to heal this memory.


As a Counsellor who specialises in the transition to parenthood journey I see time and time again the experiences of pregnancy and birth impacting long after bub has arrived.


So, what can we do? One simple thing is talk. Share your stories, allow others to be heard even it if it might make you uncomfortable, and don’t dismiss yours, your partners or other mums’ feelings.


These feelings are real and do exist. Remind others that they are not alone, and that with the support from those around them, the feelings they may have will heal over time.

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